Martha Stewart: She ain't Oprah

if martha stewart did time in a siberian prison for some 20 odd years and re-emerged with a buzz cut, hang nails, a stocky girlfriend named sasha, and no recollection of her past life, then i would understand all the coverage the media has given her.

that or if she were oprah.

if she were oprah, i would also understand.

but she's kinda not.

when was the last time martha made you cry with one swish of her black, thick, pressed hair?

.............?

never. thats when.

i mean..she named her dog after a prison mate.

you wonder: is that shameful?

yes. yes it is.
for the prison mate and the dog.

dont get me wrong. martha may be the best thing to ever breathe on a pumpkinapplecinnamon pie...and may be real fierce with some chantilly lace and lavender water....but please.
she aint oprah.