Jellyfish may have been harmed in the making of this product

i saw a girl with fingerwaves and scrunchies in her hair today.
i didn't even know people still possessed the skills to create such an archaic hairstyle.
whooooo does that?
it should be a crime to have to use so much gel to maintain one strand of hair.
surely, some animal is in danger here. being driven to extinction by gel seeking humans....
perhaps, the jellyfish?

if i were a hairdresser with any decent amount of self dignity...with a sliver of reputation to uphold....i would have said to this woman : "fingerwaves? scrunchies? it will cost...---(here, i would pause and write something down on a piece of paper and bring it up to my face)--- $1,000,000 to re-visit 1995 like that. is that ok?"
that's just what i would do.

anyway, right after taking in this hairstyle atrocity...i wondered where Total was.
remember Total?
they always had cool hair.
boy. it never hit me how sexually ambiguous Pam was.
all of them for that matter....that is Keisha and Kima...
i do remember wishing i could get little paw tattoos up my thigh like Kima's.
i imagined i would run out as soon as i turned 18 and paw my thighs all up.

that is-

until i saw the pterodactyl claws on Eve's saggy ta-ta-s.

that's when i decided i just needed to, like, slow down and not make any rash...body mutilating...sexual turn off....mistakes...such as her's.

boy. thank you e-v-e.

but i wonder....
would anyone listen to a rap album by Eve, like, ever again?

i guess it might be possible for her to spin some tyte lyrics about her sub-par show on the greatest network known to man- UPN. or maybe about her Fetish clothing line. u know....the one u saw for discounted prices at the local thrift store.
it seems to me like she's eternally destined to only guest rap-sing or whatever you call it on gwen stefani tracks....
then again, i guess anyone can be street credible on an album titled 'love. angel. music. baby'

right.