A letter to my friend...

Song of the day: Esthero's "Amelia"

To my beautiful, beautiful friend annette, nettie, ada....
my closest girlfriend in this big lonely metropolis....
(March 23rd 1982-April 15th 2006)

I got a call at 4am this Saturday saying you were gone. I didn't get to say goodbye. so unexpected. unreal. am i dreaming? this nightmare. is this life? so so short? it was too soon. I can't cry enough...the tears keep coming...i'm driftin....lost and confused. You were just here...i have all these emails, texts....yellow daffodils you brought two weeks ago when i made us dinner and you brought the wine. where did u go?my fun buddy...fab girl....sexy in the '06 partner..."we have a stare-er" giggler...the "kiss"(u missed)...the boys (some crazy, some odd, all so random, good gossip)...the bartender(total stalkage)....good wine (i'm a bum)....chock full-o-style....life liver...never a regret....lifesaver...dependable....nappy headed....free spirit...fun, fun, fun.....we made the boys stare ....in the hot clubs ( we broke in front everytime)...."boys are so dumb"....always seeking (it was there all along).....always finding....Trina fan (*rollin my eyes*)....never conforming....an inspiration...."we're black and fab"....i'll always and forever miss you...& love you. My heart lies broken....i will pick it up because you would make me....you would say "lets go out! the weather's great!"....we thought I was the one leaving....saying goodbye.....u wanted me to stay....life is crazy like that. gone first....but ure still here.....ur spirit...ever flowing....kind hearted....ure so free now.....more free than this earth would have ever allowed you....you were too big for all of this anyway. thank you for coming into my life....for showing me that life is too short for anyone to tell you how to live it.....for fighting to get out of the box.....for loving me....for showing me that life can be absolutely shitty and absolutely beautiful all at the same time....for making new york an experience i will forever cherish.......for being you....we had a blast.........i love, love, love you....

party on,

~Tosin

{fly like amelia...burn a hole right through the sky....be a meteor...live upon a cloud...angels sing your name....when no one's around scream all night and dance around the flame....be free to let the girly freak out....never hold a girl down to the ground............never say goodbye....} ~Esthero