Read this and your life will be better. Promise. (and other things i'll tell my kids)
song of the day:
"Holla at Me"- DJ Khaled/Lil' Wayne/Paul Wall/Rick Ross/Pitbull
--------------------
A few key lessons learnt in the past two years :
--when your black face complete with a butterfly outfit appears on the channel 5 new's coverage of the annual gay parade...they will play a sound bite deleting the part when u said "i'm actually not gay...i'm here to support my friends"....and will instead show u yelling "whoo ooo!!" u will go to work the next day and feel like everyone's staring at you...mostly because they are. your african mother will ask if u recorded it so she can have it in her personal collection of "things tosin has done". this will warm ur heart and scare u all at the very same time because what else is in that collection anyway?
-the true measure of who someone is....lies not in what they say...but what they ultimately end up doing ......."don't talk about it maynneee...be about it !"
--the homeless man around the corner does not want a strawberry kiwi energy shake with a shot of vitamin c from jamba juice. he wants meat.
-upon riding a subway, you will learn that nothing smells worse than piss and beer and rat
--upon waking up everyday...u will be reminded...time and time again...that crazy is around the corner...at your front door...at your job...at the store...in the club...in church...on the train (yes lawd..that train!)... and it could very well catch you too
-I'm not the tin man. I have a hEaRt.....i care..i feel..look at me...i'm girly damnit!
-i'm not crying
- i'm PMSin
-i'm confused
-i'm lost
-hold me
-i will work hard so i can one day pay for the therapist i need now
--be adventurous. ask the guy loitering on the corner who he's waiting for. ask him if the corner qualifies as a "trap" 'cuz you wanna be a "trapstar" too
-life is full of disappointments and let downs. thats just all there is to it. Like jerri aptly pointed out: "things tend to get better after the worse things have already happened not because things necessarily got better...just 'cuz they couldnt possibly get any worse"
--nice guys are better than mean guys. but not too nice...cuz then i wanna throw up a little
--the 80 year old russian lady at your internship will tell you stories about when she partied with ambassadors in africa in 1895 and in the course of the conversation refer, with a straight face, to the people that lived in "the beautiful desert" as "gorgeous negro men". u will nod... smile & say " really? sounds like a great time"
-don't be stupid
-if you're not happy....you're sad and that's downright pitiful. life is too damned short. get happy...now.
--your landlord will inform you that because you're nigerian u're most likely an extortionist...and quite possibly a whore... he will call your language "stupid"....he will offer u $1000 to leave his building so he can sell it...u will demand $5000...and get it. how's that for extortion now biatch?.......
--boys are infinitely dumb. girls too.
--wine is the drink of gods and champions...when you break a bottle of reisling on the subway stairs...you will stand there and attempt to figure out how to carry the lil bit that's left in the broken half home...u will think *hard and long* about this...
--love needs to be nurtured and kept in order to grow...add to this: think with your mind not your heart...cuz hearts break and it sho' nuff aint pretty
-leave your judgements at home. no one cares
--those who care/those who matter will not make you cry. unless u're a big ole' baby and they don't care cuz u cry all the time anyway
-humble yourself
-love yourself
-be yourself
-cherish life
-be kind/share
-new york pizza is better than your pizza...
-new york gays are better than your gays and just u kno, "gay-er"
-new york chicks are better than yours...the boys too...
-new york fabulous is better than your fabulous
-new york is just better....
- but i'm ready for something new and better in a different way
"Holla at Me"- DJ Khaled/Lil' Wayne/Paul Wall/Rick Ross/Pitbull
--------------------
A few key lessons learnt in the past two years :
--when your black face complete with a butterfly outfit appears on the channel 5 new's coverage of the annual gay parade...they will play a sound bite deleting the part when u said "i'm actually not gay...i'm here to support my friends"....and will instead show u yelling "whoo ooo!!" u will go to work the next day and feel like everyone's staring at you...mostly because they are. your african mother will ask if u recorded it so she can have it in her personal collection of "things tosin has done". this will warm ur heart and scare u all at the very same time because what else is in that collection anyway?
-the true measure of who someone is....lies not in what they say...but what they ultimately end up doing ......."don't talk about it maynneee...be about it !"
--the homeless man around the corner does not want a strawberry kiwi energy shake with a shot of vitamin c from jamba juice. he wants meat.
-upon riding a subway, you will learn that nothing smells worse than piss and beer and rat
--upon waking up everyday...u will be reminded...time and time again...that crazy is around the corner...at your front door...at your job...at the store...in the club...in church...on the train (yes lawd..that train!)... and it could very well catch you too
-I'm not the tin man. I have a hEaRt.....i care..i feel..look at me...i'm girly damnit!
-i'm not crying
- i'm PMSin
-i'm confused
-i'm lost
-hold me
-i will work hard so i can one day pay for the therapist i need now
--be adventurous. ask the guy loitering on the corner who he's waiting for. ask him if the corner qualifies as a "trap" 'cuz you wanna be a "trapstar" too
-life is full of disappointments and let downs. thats just all there is to it. Like jerri aptly pointed out: "things tend to get better after the worse things have already happened not because things necessarily got better...just 'cuz they couldnt possibly get any worse"
--nice guys are better than mean guys. but not too nice...cuz then i wanna throw up a little
--the 80 year old russian lady at your internship will tell you stories about when she partied with ambassadors in africa in 1895 and in the course of the conversation refer, with a straight face, to the people that lived in "the beautiful desert" as "gorgeous negro men". u will nod... smile & say " really? sounds like a great time"
-don't be stupid
-if you're not happy....you're sad and that's downright pitiful. life is too damned short. get happy...now.
--your landlord will inform you that because you're nigerian u're most likely an extortionist...and quite possibly a whore... he will call your language "stupid"....he will offer u $1000 to leave his building so he can sell it...u will demand $5000...and get it. how's that for extortion now biatch?.......
--boys are infinitely dumb. girls too.
--wine is the drink of gods and champions...when you break a bottle of reisling on the subway stairs...you will stand there and attempt to figure out how to carry the lil bit that's left in the broken half home...u will think *hard and long* about this...
--love needs to be nurtured and kept in order to grow...add to this: think with your mind not your heart...cuz hearts break and it sho' nuff aint pretty
-leave your judgements at home. no one cares
--those who care/those who matter will not make you cry. unless u're a big ole' baby and they don't care cuz u cry all the time anyway
-humble yourself
-love yourself
-be yourself
-cherish life
-be kind/share
-new york pizza is better than your pizza...
-new york gays are better than your gays and just u kno, "gay-er"
-new york chicks are better than yours...the boys too...
-new york fabulous is better than your fabulous
-new york is just better....
- but i'm ready for something new and better in a different way
posted by AfroPosh at 11:37 PM
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