Breaking News from the Land of ET ("Extra Triflin")

"say no, no, no, no, no...."


Dear Readers,

A week or so ago, I posted an entry about how Beyonce's new video almost had me hurling my dinner on my pjs....bewildered...discombobulated....very highly distressed. Whatever. Just...you know...my two dramatic cents. No hard feelings. You know...shits & giggles.
Well, I feel it is my self assigned duty to now share with you that since then....there has been progress...major, major developments... in the story and more to report. lol. (ok.i'm ridiculous). It appears that others who are obviously even more engaged while..oddly, at the same time...far less occupied-than you & I....have filed a petition to be sent to Columbia Records asking for a re-shoot of the video .
yes. a peti--tion.
It is apparent, at this point, that the video in question appears to have triggered what looks like mental disturbances in some people who perhaps...just a tiny guess...have nothing better to do. As in, they have already sat and watched paint dry on a wall ....watched grass grow....collected toe nail clippings.....maybe even played in traffic....& now.....need something else to do.
In a country where voting for a new President is seen as a chore....a real drag....a cruel & unusual punishment....please note that at the time of this posting...over 3000 people had already signed the triflin' ass petition below.

Clearly, dear friends, you must agree with me when i state that this is yet another sign of the end of times. Clearly.
For easy reading, I attempt to highlight the sections I feel you should pay particular & close attention to. Please. Read carefully as you would a thoughtful dissertation. lol. Let this trash marinate:

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http://www.petitiononline.com/dejavu06/petition.html
To: Columbia Records, A Division of Sony BMG

This petition is for the advocacy of having Ms. Beyonce' Knowles, Columbia Records, Music World Entertainment, and all other entities associated with the creative process of creating the long-form music video (?) known as "Deja Vu" reshoot aforementioned video immediately. This video is an underwhelming representation ("UNDERwhelming"...lol) of the talent and quality of previous music video projects of Ms. Knowles. The following problems have been pointed out by numerous fans on and offline:
A) There is no clear story or theme to the video (wait. because there ever was clarity in the history of video making?)
B) The dancing is erratic, confusing and alarming at times (yes. i concur. sadly.)
C) The sexual themes and shots between Ms. Knowles and Mr. Sean Carter PKA Jay-Z, are alarming and show unacceptable interactions between the two (I suppose B hanging all over Jigga like he was a tall, black stripper pole can be seen...depending on how you look at it...as highly inappropriate)
D) The fashion in this video, while haute-couture, is unbelievable and ridiculous (in all of my life.....)
E) The editing, while professionally done, causes one to get dizzy and disoriented (...with a touch of vertigo)
F) The overall feel of the video leaves a sense of much to be desired (yes. because we all know that music videos of nowadays often leave one satisfied and without desire)
G) The video is very disappointing and is not a clear representation of any of the songs themes (come again?)

We, the fans of one Beyonce' Knowles, ask that an alternative video be shot featuring; more choreographed & less spontaneous dancing, clearer visual themes that relate to the lyrics of the song, less gyrating, less scenes of non-existant sexual chemistry between Mr. Carter and Ms. Knowles,(classic. just classic.) less zooming and quick cut edits and a more stylized and clear direction for all other aspects of the video production.

Suggested in this re-shoot would be the hire of another producer besides Ms. Sophie Mueller -- one more acclimated to urban themes and imagery in music videos, other than Hype "Letterbox" Williams. (OOOoOoOOOoo! "Letterbox!". damn Hype. He called you out! Said you were played outttt! No love at alllll....)

Sincerely,
The Undersigned
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The simple truth is that the common ass circus clown who sat and labored over this petition..........needs to be stripped. Tarred. & Feathered.

simple truth.

oh. i'm sorry. silly me. Here you go: The Re-Shoot of Beyonce's "Deja Vu" Video Petition to Columbia Records, A Division of Sony BMG was created by and written by Robert Thomas (intlrockstar@yahoo.com).

*sigh*

Either this is one poor, poor man. or a man after my own heart......one with a deeply, self satisfying sense of humor.

I guess if i were B, i'd feel a deep sense of pity mixed in with...i dunno ...gratitude?....repulsion...?..... for those 1000s who have put so much obvious energy & effort into......what is this anyway?.......saving my career? not allowing me to slack off?.....is this even about me?........no. really ............what is this?

u know what.....if i were B, I'd ask for that petition and take it to the bathroom with me next time I had to go.

yup.

perfect.