Why Lie...? I Need Beer.
Conversation overhead on the corner of 13th & G in DC:
Homeless woman: ...ive been down there to the FBI office....over there to the office of consumer relations...
Homeless man: *insert the most concerned face*
Homeless woman: I mean, I've been running around trying to get this resolved for the past few weeks now
Homeless man: *shaking head with sympathetic understanding*
Homeless woman: I keep telling them ive been the victim of credit card fraud!
but do you think they care? do you think they do anything about it? of course not! I'm telling you..... *insert look of complete, utter, & total disbelief*
Homeless man: --returns look of *complete, utter & total disbelief* as if to say "the nerve of the FBI!"
.....
I don't even think i need to comment on the above.
Its not even necessary.
speaking of homeless folks...
am i the only one who thinks they've been slacking lately?
I mean, i remember back in the day when you could expect some good, solid gold entertainment from your local homeless man/woman. whether it was a little jingle they made up on the spot while using their cup/can full of change as an instrument.....or a funny creative sign scrawled on a piece of cardboard(this weekend.... somewhere on 27th & 10th....i noticed a sign hanging around a homeless man: "Why Lie...?I need a Beer".....yes. genius! i appreciate truth from all levels. i mean, i completely agree with him 'cuz not only does he need a beer. He DESERVES a beer. Heck, he DESERVES several beers. For crying outloud, this man is homeless in...of all places....New York City! Not only that...he's living on the corner where 1million belligerent yuppie trust fund I-bankers "I'm so sexxyhott i'm on fire" type New Yorkers come to party and spend $500 on a bottle that costs $40 just so chicks and dudes alike can peep them out....all on their way to some penthouse in the sky! surely. in the midst of all of this....this poor man can get a beer.........or ten. )
where was i?
right.
entertainment.
what happened to a favorite song sang incessantly? there was a man who once rode the 6 train singing "sometimes i feel like a motherless child"....heart wrenching the first 2 times you hear it. after that.....you're waiting for a switch up.....or just some good ole act. I dunno....a two step...a shuffle...anything really.
I mean, I'm not asking that they do too much....'cuz after all....it would be rather asshole-ish of me to want so much from a person without food or shelter.....but seriously. There are so many options. Besides, I think its easier not to think of what your money will be used for if the person in question manages to distract you with a song or two. these days....I find myself walking past way too many homeless folk who simply sit by a cup/can yelling some foul nonsense to passersby while throwing peanut shells. There's one on my way to work everyday who reads a newspaper while holding his forever empty cup out. Like he's a bank deposit or a teller. shameful. even worse. ....some have a habit of demanding more. Yes, you read right. d-e-m-a-n-d-i-n-g.
i know. unbelievable.
Like, for instance, the homeless man who didnt like the meal a nice stranger bought for him. "no" , he said, "i dont like cheese on my sandwich".
"You. dont. like. cheese...................??"
thats exactly what the suddenly not-so-nice stranger said back to him.
...and don't get me started on the man who once almost slapped the black off my face for offering him some jamba juice.
Don't think that stopped me tho....nope.
i upped my game and once offered a lady some porkchops and rice. She was so thankful and i felt really good. nothing like when i almost got the black slapped off my face.
I mean, if i were homeless....i'd be thinkin outside the box....schemin'....bankin'....and probably un-homeless real quick. Like, i'd probably have a whole one man skit where i'd play, like 5 different characters on the corner of times square. This wouldn't be so hard 'cuz i'm sure I would have lost my complete mind by this time and embraced all 20 of my personalities. Somewhere in the skit, i'd probably sing "eye on the sparrow"....'cuz i know that anyone who doesnt feel on this song is made of stone and probably doesnt have any money to give me anyway. Lastly, I'd probably also have a table with a sign that would read: "For Honest Opinions About How You Look. Stop Here. $1.00". Do you realize how many shallow people live in big cities? Dudeeee, I would be RICH! Money out the wazooooo!
I know.
all of this....
incredibly unbelievable.
hmmm.....
as a side note:
...its a good thing i never promised to be politically correct on this blog.
'cuz then i would have broken that promise in a huge way just right now....with this very ridiculous blog entry...
yes sir. i sure would have.
Homeless woman: ...ive been down there to the FBI office....over there to the office of consumer relations...
Homeless man: *insert the most concerned face*
Homeless woman: I mean, I've been running around trying to get this resolved for the past few weeks now
Homeless man: *shaking head with sympathetic understanding*
Homeless woman: I keep telling them ive been the victim of credit card fraud!
but do you think they care? do you think they do anything about it? of course not! I'm telling you..... *insert look of complete, utter, & total disbelief*
Homeless man: --returns look of *complete, utter & total disbelief* as if to say "the nerve of the FBI!"
.....
I don't even think i need to comment on the above.
Its not even necessary.
speaking of homeless folks...
am i the only one who thinks they've been slacking lately?
I mean, i remember back in the day when you could expect some good, solid gold entertainment from your local homeless man/woman. whether it was a little jingle they made up on the spot while using their cup/can full of change as an instrument.....or a funny creative sign scrawled on a piece of cardboard(this weekend.... somewhere on 27th & 10th....i noticed a sign hanging around a homeless man: "Why Lie...?I need a Beer".....yes. genius! i appreciate truth from all levels. i mean, i completely agree with him 'cuz not only does he need a beer. He DESERVES a beer. Heck, he DESERVES several beers. For crying outloud, this man is homeless in...of all places....New York City! Not only that...he's living on the corner where 1million belligerent yuppie trust fund I-bankers "I'm so sexxyhott i'm on fire" type New Yorkers come to party and spend $500 on a bottle that costs $40 just so chicks and dudes alike can peep them out....all on their way to some penthouse in the sky! surely. in the midst of all of this....this poor man can get a beer.........or ten. )
where was i?
right.
entertainment.
what happened to a favorite song sang incessantly? there was a man who once rode the 6 train singing "sometimes i feel like a motherless child"....heart wrenching the first 2 times you hear it. after that.....you're waiting for a switch up.....or just some good ole act. I dunno....a two step...a shuffle...anything really.
I mean, I'm not asking that they do too much....'cuz after all....it would be rather asshole-ish of me to want so much from a person without food or shelter.....but seriously. There are so many options. Besides, I think its easier not to think of what your money will be used for if the person in question manages to distract you with a song or two. these days....I find myself walking past way too many homeless folk who simply sit by a cup/can yelling some foul nonsense to passersby while throwing peanut shells. There's one on my way to work everyday who reads a newspaper while holding his forever empty cup out. Like he's a bank deposit or a teller. shameful. even worse. ....some have a habit of demanding more. Yes, you read right. d-e-m-a-n-d-i-n-g.
i know. unbelievable.
Like, for instance, the homeless man who didnt like the meal a nice stranger bought for him. "no" , he said, "i dont like cheese on my sandwich".
"You. dont. like. cheese...................??"
thats exactly what the suddenly not-so-nice stranger said back to him.
...and don't get me started on the man who once almost slapped the black off my face for offering him some jamba juice.
Don't think that stopped me tho....nope.
i upped my game and once offered a lady some porkchops and rice. She was so thankful and i felt really good. nothing like when i almost got the black slapped off my face.
I mean, if i were homeless....i'd be thinkin outside the box....schemin'....bankin'....and probably un-homeless real quick. Like, i'd probably have a whole one man skit where i'd play, like 5 different characters on the corner of times square. This wouldn't be so hard 'cuz i'm sure I would have lost my complete mind by this time and embraced all 20 of my personalities. Somewhere in the skit, i'd probably sing "eye on the sparrow"....'cuz i know that anyone who doesnt feel on this song is made of stone and probably doesnt have any money to give me anyway. Lastly, I'd probably also have a table with a sign that would read: "For Honest Opinions About How You Look. Stop Here. $1.00". Do you realize how many shallow people live in big cities? Dudeeee, I would be RICH! Money out the wazooooo!
I know.
all of this....
incredibly unbelievable.
hmmm.....
as a side note:
...its a good thing i never promised to be politically correct on this blog.
'cuz then i would have broken that promise in a huge way just right now....with this very ridiculous blog entry...
yes sir. i sure would have.
posted by AfroPosh at 8:34 AM
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