Big Red and the Missed Connection...

Today as I stood on the subway platform, I noticed a rather visually stimulating male standing to my left. Yes, he had on sunglasses underground...(and yes, ive learned my lesson about carrying on a conversation with a guy with large sunglasses on in a dark room....chances are he's hiding something...i.e. a very horribly crooked eye...which you probably would have dealt with in a smooth and respectable manner had it not been sprung up on you after a full hour of deep conversation...during which time u repeatedly asked him to take off his sunglasses and he replied "my eyes are irritated today"...er...no sir, your eyes are wandering all over the damn globe...anywayyyy...)..but i reasoned it was a bit sunny out...so perhaps...no need for the "shut down" game yet. so yea, this man ... i check him out...nice clothes..height...posture...nice shoes...yea...he's aiiight. So there I am listening to T.I.'s "motivation" on my ipod (cuz i needs large doses of that this week)...mindin my business...wishing the train would come and wisk me away to St.Tropez instead of a tiny cubicle with work spilling off the table top....when the man gently waved his arm to get my attention. I ignored it as I ignore every other show of silliness in the subway. Then he gets bold. and he walks over and taps me on my shoulder. Now, this is interesting. A man...unintimidated by my "i have earphones in my ear..so i don't hear or see you" tactic. hmmm. funni thing is Fuu and I were talkin last nite about her deep desire for bold men and I said somethin to the effect of "i dont know what i feel about bold men in a public setting who just walk up and are u know...bold. cuz..sometimes..they're just bold crazy" well, i tell ya, this guy's boldness was refreshing at 9am. Said he just wanted to compliment me on my hair . And then i complimented him on his style. So then...we wait on the train. we get on the train. He stands directly in front of me and lets me sit. The seat beside me frees up. He sits down. Our knees touch. this total stranger has me thinking of the passionate kiss we'll soon be sharing by next weekend after our second date and after several phone conversations that would start following us exchanging numbers and him taking of his sunglasses on this lonely ass #3 train. I pull out a book, remove my the ear bud in one ear. u know...a signal that i'm open. open to him! open to being asked out! He appears nervous..he fidgets. his previous boldness tells me he's just preppin himself for the big "so, what's ur name?" entrance. we pass 110th street, then 96th, then 77th, then...nothing yet. I read my book...one slow sentence at a time. anticipating. knees getting warm. he fidgets with his bookbag. i inch closer. he opens his bookbag. uh oh...he's gonna do it. "can I have ur number?" he'll say. he fishes inside his bag. is it a cellphone? a paper and pen?no. its a pack of big red gum. pulls a piece out. chews it comtemplatively. stares at the package. puts it back in his bag. i keep my eyes on my book. he pulls the pack out. 42nd street's next. he pulls out a piece "would u like a piece?" "yea sure. thanks". puts gum back. zips up bag. 42nd street. he gets up. now! now! now! "have a great day...see you around". WAIT. What?!?! what the helL!?!? what is this? "a joke?" a piece of gum and a "i'll see you around"???? honestly, he fashioned the biggest disappointment since Bush winning in '04. for real. he did. hands down. he betta hope i dont see him around. i know that much. Big Red??! of all brands of gum.....?? the second worst next to wrigley?? everyone knows the answer is Extra...cuz it lasts extra long! without getting hard and busting your jaw in 5 places! well...whatever...he's probably online penning a "missed connections" posting on craigslist as we speak. "tall, fiercely attractive almond colored woman, tall like a deeply rooted tree....mohawked like a majestic bird"
Thing is...i never did see past the sunglasses....maybe he was saving me the anguish. thanks for the gum sunglasses boy. thanks.