.....Inescapable Madness

Song of the Day: Linkin Park's "Breakin' the Habit"
----

a not-so-funni thing happened on my way home from work tonite.

So...after wrapping up a late meeting....I decide that I'm too close to home to hop on the train, but too far to try and walk the long ass DC blocks. Enter...the shuttle bus. Not a bad choice in a city where the subway lines are so spread out... So I drag myself on the next bus headed home. So i'm sittin'...mindin' my business....returning some missed calls....assessin' each individual on the bus....drawin' important conclusions about what led a few to leave the house looking the way they did.....u know, mindin' my business.
Enter.....overweight, rather hideous looking middle-aged man with shirt all unbuttoned & sweat covered---hairy beer belly and man-tits--- fully out. He is more drunk than a skunk trapped in a barrel of absinthe.
...

So....I'm thinkin' to myself: "i wake up each morning. i go to work. i work hard. it is 8:30PM.i just came from a meeting where people lost all shapes & sizes of minds.i JUST.want.to.go.home".
Now, the most unsettling part of the whole sight before my very eyes is that this OGRE of a man...if you mentally buttoned his shirt and noticed his briefcase... appeared to have woken up this morning...as i did....& gone to work....as i did. Yet, somewhere, along the way, decided to get pissy ass shitfaced drunk...-as i did not-..... and hop on my shuttle bus.
I immediately decide the best way to let this pass is to just allow my eyes to slowly glaze over until i don't see, hear or smell the crispy ass wild eyed idiot standing to my far right.

No such luck.

So ....after attempting to sit....first on the lap of a fellow passenger....then in a seat....Mr. Gorilla proceeds to sing. very loudly. Something about "all is lost. all is lost. all is lost." I'm thinkin to myself: "yes. u are damn right. all is lost. all except that disgusting ass hairy protrusion you call a stomach...." Then he passes out...cold. SO...along we ride...I'm thinking.....10 more mins....10 more mins......& i'll be home.

THEN....

Without warning, the ogre starts to dry heave. I'm thinkin' "Oh---the----F**K----no---"
But, Oh---F**K----Yes........YES!...this beast starts to vomit his guts out....all over his fat chest. All in his sleep! You don't even know. I'm like.......what----in ----the----fresh-----burnt-----HELL?!
I mean, like...even from the point of view of someone who has seen ALOT...and i mean, alooot. I'm thinkin to myself...."yes. i will walk home. i will walk 12 EXTRA long DC blocks home in this 200degree weather & i will either a) pass out and lay in a pool of my own salty sweat or b)straight fry to a nice crisp burnt death . Compared to the emergency situation on the bus....i figure both of these choices would be what you might call a "luxury". This is so ridi-damn-cu-lous. So very ignorant. SO i'm waiting to make an emergency exit at the next stop when the village drunk wakes up....chest all fouled up.....and begins to stumble into innocent bystanders.
You should have heard the bloodcurling screams. You would have thought he was brandishing a semi automatic the way people took cover and screamed their brains out. So then, the driver screeches to a halt and orders an immediate evacuation..."PLEASE evacuate the bus and re-enter the one directly behind us!" he yells. Oh-the-DRAMA! I'm standing there. Just standing there. While everyone else goes insane.... i'm trying to take it all in.... allowing my brain to grasp what in the looney shit is really going on. So, I slowly "evacuate".....all the while trying not to become a victim of the mad stampede. So I think to myself....walk in this heat...?or chill out and ride for a few more minutes? I decide I'm too worn out... emotionally, physically &.... spiritually...to die a slow death from acute heat exhaustion....so I decide to follow the masses and hop on the waiting shuttle.
Then. out of nowhere...i hear a fresh round of bloodcurling screams & follow the panicked eyes of the lady standing to my front. As I turn around...*LO & F'IN BEHOLD*....I see the Musty Ass King of the Vomit Lands attempting to board the shuttle with the rest of us. Clearly, he is unaware that he alone is the reason for the mass exodus. You would have thought the red blazin' devil himself was trying to get on that shuttle the way everyone went wild. What happened next is nothing short of a mini mutiny as everyone starts to yell at the bus driver "NO! NO! PLEASEEEEEE! DO NOOOOT LET HIM ON THIS BUS!!!" "PLEASE! HE IS THE REASON WE EVACUATED! HIIIIMMMM! HE'S THE ONE!!!! PLEASE DON'T DO ITTTTTTTTT"

man.


So, I decide to try and get off this slave ship. But I can't. there's chaos. On both ends. I'm thinking to myself: "everyday.I wake up.I work hard.it is now 8:45 PM.i JUST-want-to-walk-maybe die en-route-and-go-home". So then the bus driver breaks it all up and says "sir. no. step... away from.... the door".

The last thing I remember seeing as the bus peeled off & before i experienced a temporary mental black out..........was the vomitous creature standing at the lamp-post looking horribly unloved & morose....like he had some biblical disease like leprosy or a body covered in lesions. u know...pretty much the look most people have when they reek of undigested food particles.

*sigh*

I'm not sure what the moral of this story is.

Well, actually i do.

The moral of the story is that you shouldn't take your pitiful half inbred behind to the bar & get disgustingly shit faced....if you know you have to embark on a journey requiring any mode of public transportation including, but not limited to: plane, train, bus, rickshaw, or canoe. At the very absolute least.........do us all a favor and walk your sad, staink ass home. No one. I promise. NO ONE will judge you as you lay covered in bile on a traffic heavy street or in the nearest gutter or poison ivy bush.

days goin by too fast....

Very Important Question of the Day

Song of the Day: Jon B's "Are You Still Down"

Remember Jon B.? Whatever happened to him?
Man, that was one croonin' ass fine ass white boy.

I can still picture him in that video with the ridiculous all white suit and that serious ass goatee...and those oh so yummy lips.

I'm tellin' you.

if.......only......i.....

Damn, Jon....where you at??!

Breaking News from the Land of ET ("Extra Triflin")

"say no, no, no, no, no...."


Dear Readers,

A week or so ago, I posted an entry about how Beyonce's new video almost had me hurling my dinner on my pjs....bewildered...discombobulated....very highly distressed. Whatever. Just...you know...my two dramatic cents. No hard feelings. You know...shits & giggles.
Well, I feel it is my self assigned duty to now share with you that since then....there has been progress...major, major developments... in the story and more to report. lol. (ok.i'm ridiculous). It appears that others who are obviously even more engaged while..oddly, at the same time...far less occupied-than you & I....have filed a petition to be sent to Columbia Records asking for a re-shoot of the video .
yes. a peti--tion.
It is apparent, at this point, that the video in question appears to have triggered what looks like mental disturbances in some people who perhaps...just a tiny guess...have nothing better to do. As in, they have already sat and watched paint dry on a wall ....watched grass grow....collected toe nail clippings.....maybe even played in traffic....& now.....need something else to do.
In a country where voting for a new President is seen as a chore....a real drag....a cruel & unusual punishment....please note that at the time of this posting...over 3000 people had already signed the triflin' ass petition below.

Clearly, dear friends, you must agree with me when i state that this is yet another sign of the end of times. Clearly.
For easy reading, I attempt to highlight the sections I feel you should pay particular & close attention to. Please. Read carefully as you would a thoughtful dissertation. lol. Let this trash marinate:

----
http://www.petitiononline.com/dejavu06/petition.html
To: Columbia Records, A Division of Sony BMG

This petition is for the advocacy of having Ms. Beyonce' Knowles, Columbia Records, Music World Entertainment, and all other entities associated with the creative process of creating the long-form music video (?) known as "Deja Vu" reshoot aforementioned video immediately. This video is an underwhelming representation ("UNDERwhelming"...lol) of the talent and quality of previous music video projects of Ms. Knowles. The following problems have been pointed out by numerous fans on and offline:
A) There is no clear story or theme to the video (wait. because there ever was clarity in the history of video making?)
B) The dancing is erratic, confusing and alarming at times (yes. i concur. sadly.)
C) The sexual themes and shots between Ms. Knowles and Mr. Sean Carter PKA Jay-Z, are alarming and show unacceptable interactions between the two (I suppose B hanging all over Jigga like he was a tall, black stripper pole can be seen...depending on how you look at it...as highly inappropriate)
D) The fashion in this video, while haute-couture, is unbelievable and ridiculous (in all of my life.....)
E) The editing, while professionally done, causes one to get dizzy and disoriented (...with a touch of vertigo)
F) The overall feel of the video leaves a sense of much to be desired (yes. because we all know that music videos of nowadays often leave one satisfied and without desire)
G) The video is very disappointing and is not a clear representation of any of the songs themes (come again?)

We, the fans of one Beyonce' Knowles, ask that an alternative video be shot featuring; more choreographed & less spontaneous dancing, clearer visual themes that relate to the lyrics of the song, less gyrating, less scenes of non-existant sexual chemistry between Mr. Carter and Ms. Knowles,(classic. just classic.) less zooming and quick cut edits and a more stylized and clear direction for all other aspects of the video production.

Suggested in this re-shoot would be the hire of another producer besides Ms. Sophie Mueller -- one more acclimated to urban themes and imagery in music videos, other than Hype "Letterbox" Williams. (OOOoOoOOOoo! "Letterbox!". damn Hype. He called you out! Said you were played outttt! No love at alllll....)

Sincerely,
The Undersigned
----

The simple truth is that the common ass circus clown who sat and labored over this petition..........needs to be stripped. Tarred. & Feathered.

simple truth.

oh. i'm sorry. silly me. Here you go: The Re-Shoot of Beyonce's "Deja Vu" Video Petition to Columbia Records, A Division of Sony BMG was created by and written by Robert Thomas (intlrockstar@yahoo.com).

*sigh*

Either this is one poor, poor man. or a man after my own heart......one with a deeply, self satisfying sense of humor.

I guess if i were B, i'd feel a deep sense of pity mixed in with...i dunno ...gratitude?....repulsion...?..... for those 1000s who have put so much obvious energy & effort into......what is this anyway?.......saving my career? not allowing me to slack off?.....is this even about me?........no. really ............what is this?

u know what.....if i were B, I'd ask for that petition and take it to the bathroom with me next time I had to go.

yup.

perfect.

Some Men....

...never learn.

So...there's been some loud whisper of Christie Brinkley's file for divorce from her 47 year old fourth husband, Peter Cook, who she discovered was having an affair with an 18 year old. Not like this is a surprise or that it matters in the grand scheme of things. I mean, after all....we have enough wars and rumours of wars going on at this very moment to think about....not to mention how concerned the whole world is about Britney Spears' slow & painful descent into shittydom. But, allow me this slight detour into the world of the extra triflin'.

Anyhoo, so sometime today....Cook issued the following apology to his wife via his lawyer via the New York Post: ''This is an aberration, I'm sorry. I'm contrite. I'm stupid. Foolish. No excuse.''

...oh dear Peter.....Petey Pete Pete.......*sigh* ......truer words you have never spoken.

Yes Peter, you are sorry. stupid. & foolish. with no excuses. What else?

I find it absolutely mind boggling that men such as this......with enough life experiences....and plenty to lose (wife, kids, home, money, general well-being & stability)....behave very similar to untamed baboons in the wild. Like common, simple ass buffoons.

Its one thing if this man didn't want to reconcile. Then maybe we could all shrug our shoulders and say "sad. another dissatisfied man looking for a way out". But not really. In fact, according to his lawyer ''He hopes there's no divorce. IF she wants one, and he certainly hopes this doesn't happen, but IF -- it will not be nasty. She can have whatever she wants.''

....whatever she wants?......hmmm....too bad she can't have her marriage back.

Now, please. Lets not overlook Brinkley here. Afterall, she is the common denominator with 3 almost 4 marriages behind her........so who knows what sort of trouble she brews for her husbands........but still....today I'll use this as an excuse to purge my mind.

Ok, so as it is.... there are a wide array of double standards that we have assigned to men. This is the sad truth. We have plenty of excuses and reasons for why they're the way they are:....huge egos....biological differences.....not as emotional as women.....shipped in from mars.....blah blah blah.

Bull......shit.

Having given these arguments slight thought....I realized that the only one that could have possibly held the slightest bit of water....the tiniest bit....would have been: "men biologically only have a quarter portion of a brain & according to several worldwide studies do not appear to know the difference between right & wrong". Period. This is the only plausible excuse I can scrape together.

IN my mind, if a person is able to tell the clear difference between right & wrong (...and trust me...men....very similar to a 6 yr old...can tell the clear difference). Then there is nothing left to be said. From that point on, everything is based on individual choices & decisions.....albeit faulty....but nonetheless.....a decision made by a grown ass man. Besides, if someone could prove to me that ALL men were a certain way or ALL women are a certain way, then I would relinquish my argument. And make no mistake, I am not a resident in la la land who thinks human errors don't take place or people don't make honest mistakes. But do understand...that for every wrong acting man or woman, there's one that is not.... or damn, at the very least...not so disgustingly bad.

So for me, I find it hard to forgive random acts of stupidity. Perhaps once.....for benefit of the doubt purposes....and maybe twice....the good ole "last chance" effort. 'Cuz you know...maybe there needs to be some re-vamping....maybe i need to make it clear that the egregious violation will not be accepted.....a few sessions of therapy...some prayer. but after that...we have what they call "unreconcilable differences" ....a GANORMOUS problem. One that might involve me going to jail 'cuz I just sliced some man up and burned our 5 bedroom house down.

For example, if a 47 year old man has an affair with an 18 year old...and prior to that....a 19 year old. We have a ganormous problem. Aside from the obvious recidivism....you also happen to be looking at a possible child molestor. I mean....imagine the bile that would crawl up your throat upon realizing that your husband could quite possibly find your young teeny bopper daughter sensually attractive in the same way he should find Meryl Streep sensually attractive.
Like there isnt enough going on in an everyday marriage....enough to deal with....some wayward child...crazy in-law...inflated utility bills....sammy's dead goldfish.....an incompetent nanny....leaking roof....susie's ballet-soccer-piano lesson....than to have some idiot in the partnership....wife or husband...unable to keep his/her pants up/skirt down .

Give me a F'in break.

I read an article once that compared men who are serial cheaters to sociopaths. According to the article....repeat cheaters (men & women alike) are pretty much wired the same as serial killers. lol. I know.....crazy. So at first, I rolled my eyes at the attempt to draw the parallel. But, as I read...I realized that the article had a few key points worth noting. For one, the author pointed to the fact that psychologically speaking....a serial cheater has the same character flaws as a serial murderer, serial shoplifter, serial abuser.....basically...serial everything...i.e.: need for dangerous excitement that can never be satisfied, attention seeking, spontaneous behavior with an inability to control oneself or worse, a conscious choice not to control oneself, selfish with disregard for other's welfare, problems with authority, controlling, vast insecurities hidden by a huge ego that typically keeps one from ever considering the full consequences of one's actions, & a feeling of invisibility ("i won't get caught") or ("if i get caught, nothing really bad will happen").

lol.

Crazy, right?

Ya bet.

Now, if Brinkley decides to stay with his buffoon of a man...i think its fine...after all, at 52 yrs old....she would just be another grown ass woman making another stupid ass decision.....nothing new.

But please, keep the teenage girls locked up.

Why Lie...? I Need Beer.

Conversation overhead on the corner of 13th & G in DC:

Homeless woman: ...ive been down there to the FBI office....over there to the office of consumer relations...

Homeless man: *insert the most concerned face*

Homeless woman: I mean, I've been running around trying to get this resolved for the past few weeks now

Homeless man: *shaking head with sympathetic understanding*

Homeless woman: I keep telling them ive been the victim of credit card fraud!
but do you think they care? do you think they do anything about it? of course not! I'm telling you..... *insert look of complete, utter, & total disbelief*

Homeless man: --returns look of *complete, utter & total disbelief* as if to say "the nerve of the FBI!"
.....

I don't even think i need to comment on the above.

Its not even necessary.

speaking of homeless folks...

am i the only one who thinks they've been slacking lately?


I mean, i remember back in the day when you could expect some good, solid gold entertainment from your local homeless man/woman. whether it was a little jingle they made up on the spot while using their cup/can full of change as an instrument.....or a funny creative sign scrawled on a piece of cardboard(this weekend.... somewhere on 27th & 10th....i noticed a sign hanging around a homeless man: "Why Lie...?I need a Beer".....yes. genius! i appreciate truth from all levels. i mean, i completely agree with him 'cuz not only does he need a beer. He DESERVES a beer. Heck, he DESERVES several beers. For crying outloud, this man is homeless in...of all places....New York City! Not only that...he's living on the corner where 1million belligerent yuppie trust fund I-bankers "I'm so sexxyhott i'm on fire" type New Yorkers come to party and spend $500 on a bottle that costs $40 just so chicks and dudes alike can peep them out....all on their way to some penthouse in the sky! surely. in the midst of all of this....this poor man can get a beer.........or ten. )


where was i?

right.

entertainment.

what happened to a favorite song sang incessantly? there was a man who once rode the 6 train singing "sometimes i feel like a motherless child"....heart wrenching the first 2 times you hear it. after that.....you're waiting for a switch up.....or just some good ole act. I dunno....a two step...a shuffle...anything really.

I mean, I'm not asking that they do too much....'cuz after all....it would be rather asshole-ish of me to want so much from a person without food or shelter.....but seriously. There are so many options. Besides, I think its easier not to think of what your money will be used for if the person in question manages to distract you with a song or two. these days....I find myself walking past way too many homeless folk who simply sit by a cup/can yelling some foul nonsense to passersby while throwing peanut shells. There's one on my way to work everyday who reads a newspaper while holding his forever empty cup out. Like he's a bank deposit or a teller. shameful. even worse. ....some have a habit of demanding more. Yes, you read right. d-e-m-a-n-d-i-n-g.

i know. unbelievable.

Like, for instance, the homeless man who didnt like the meal a nice stranger bought for him. "no" , he said, "i dont like cheese on my sandwich".

"You. dont. like. cheese...................??"

thats exactly what the suddenly not-so-nice stranger said back to him.

...and don't get me started on the man who once almost slapped the black off my face for offering him some jamba juice.
Don't think that stopped me tho....nope.
i upped my game and once offered a lady some porkchops and rice. She was so thankful and i felt really good. nothing like when i almost got the black slapped off my face.

I mean, if i were homeless....i'd be thinkin outside the box....schemin'....bankin'....and probably un-homeless real quick. Like, i'd probably have a whole one man skit where i'd play, like 5 different characters on the corner of times square. This wouldn't be so hard 'cuz i'm sure I would have lost my complete mind by this time and embraced all 20 of my personalities. Somewhere in the skit, i'd probably sing "eye on the sparrow"....'cuz i know that anyone who doesnt feel on this song is made of stone and probably doesnt have any money to give me anyway. Lastly, I'd probably also have a table with a sign that would read: "For Honest Opinions About How You Look. Stop Here. $1.00". Do you realize how many shallow people live in big cities? Dudeeee, I would be RICH! Money out the wazooooo!

I know.

all of this....

incredibly unbelievable.

hmmm.....

as a side note:

...its a good thing i never promised to be politically correct on this blog.

'cuz then i would have broken that promise in a huge way just right now....with this very ridiculous blog entry...

yes sir. i sure would have.

Anticipating 30...

30 seems like the perfect age for someone like me. I feel by then I will truly be grown enough to look down at most people.
I mean...i already do. I just don't have all the years to back me up yet.

....shot sent to me from the home of my forever favorite wine enthusiast....
(reminding me of my promise to learn everything wine this fall...)

Random...

Song of the day: Amel Larrieux "Weary" ("...whomever said love is over-rated must not be gettin' none....")


...you know you spend too much time at work when you get on the elevator at home and press the button for your office floor....

but the extra hours must have paid off cuz i just earned an extra paid day off....woo hooo....

....in other news (& I may be late coming to this realization 'cuz i don't watch much tv)...but it seems BET (which....i'm hard pressed to say I know anyone who still watches...) has a new offspring..."BET J" which plays soul music and jazz most of the day. pretty impressive...

word on the street is that the new female CEO, Debra Lee is doin big things....

For one, she ripped Tigga & that irritant Julissa or whatever her name is...off the air....and yanked "Uncut" like it stole somethin'(admit it, you watched that trash at least once during an all nighter in...*ahem*....college) .

to all of this, I say...always make way for a black woman with an agenda....

....*sigh*

in the meantime, 'cuse me while i eat & sleep.... at the same time....

[In Heavy Rotation: Amel Larrieux's "Morning" album]:

From "Weary"....

This woman is growing weary
Of having to be so strong
Of having to pretend I’m made of stone
So I won’t end up with no broken bones
I can’t fight every battle alone

I want someone to lift me
Heal my wounds and give me kisses on my head
Say words that should be said
Fear is not the matter
I would so much rather open up my heart
And lay down my guard

If I could trust someone
To have my back and never do me wrong
Then I would give my love up
Just like that stop singing this soldier song ...

~i'm tellin u....amel is the truth. When next you're in a cd store....buy her "Bravebird" album....and if you're impressed, try her new "Morning" album. You'll probably thank me later...

Life in a Zoo...

I'm not like, 100% sure....but I think the phrase, "Peace in the Middle East", coined when I was in elementary school circa the Gulf War, is about to experience a record-breaking surge in popularity.
......because, i mean, what in the greasy hot hell is really goin on over there?

like....really. for crying outloud. Can we, for the sake of common decency....take a number, get in line, and fight one war at a time? I mean, raise your hand if you randomly thought sometime last week..."oh, i know! Lebanon & Israel are going to war this week!"
Also, raise your hand if you think dear old Israel should be tired of always being in the "mix" by now? Aren't they worn out & tired from centuries upon centuries of unrest and conflict....over Jesus...over land...over stuff in general? Wouldn't you, dear Israelite, like to one day go out and think "boy...we havent had a PIECE of conflict in the past 3 days!!...what a lovely day!"
I dunno about you... but it seems astonishingly ironic that the birth place of the Messiah also happens to be one of the top two places where you're most likely to get hit by a stray missile.

Add to ALL of this....that when I woke up this morning, I thought I'd gone straight to hell. After all, what other explanation could there be as to why it was 100 degrees hotter...than the hinges of hell's gate...at 6am?
and to think...people still wanna fight. in this crazy ass heat.
I dunno....i guess i'm glad everyone is hard at work fulfilling the signs of the apocalypse. or at the very least, prepping for WWW III. warms my heart. really, it does.

I'm telling you, the more I think about it, the more I realize that the theory of evolution is all wrong. for one, 99% of the world did not evolve. No. In fact, contrary to this....they remained as monkeys and bought human costumes to wear around town.
Personally, I believe I belong in the 1% that evolved....I mostly know this to be the certified truth because most of the time...as in every waking minute of every day.... when I look around...I dont believe I'm fit to live in this world along with goats & monkeys dressed in full human regalia.

What to make of all this conflict in the world...where human life seems to no longer hold any value....where tomfoolery is the order of the day? I think Thomas Hobbes said it best when he stated....somewhere in his literary droning...that human life in its natural state is simply, " solitary, poor, nasty, brutish & short".

Pretty depressing I know. But i'll be damned if it aint true....

Roller Coaster Video

Beyonce's new video is quite possibly the most excessive & nauseating music video I've seen in a long time. SO much going on at the very, same, exact time and @ a very very fast rate. Talk about sensory overdrive! Now, anyone who knows me... knows i have a huge crush on B...'cuz she's so 'frikkin fly and on top of her game.....but damn, I kinda felt like throwing up after watching her new video. like maybe I just got off a roller coaster ride at six flags. not-a-good-feeling.

Add to this the fact that I fail to understand the concept behind the lyrics to this song. its very clear she didn't consult Webster before mis-using the word "deja-vu". which, according to Kara, "makes it sound like she's suffering from paranoid schizophrenia...not deja-vu".

lol....

I'm just sayin', you might just wanna watch this on an empty stomach so you don't hurl up your last meal...

p.s. NOTE TO JAY-Z (still my fave rapper of all time): You are hereby banned from appearing in any more of B's videos. One was enough. Two is extra. Thanks.

The Question of a "Do-Over"

Song of the Day: Fela "Go Slow"
Website of the Day: http://www.dotball.net (...cuz, in this cruel, cruel world....you too, dear friend, can be just like Zidane)

---
I guess technically it could be tough to make a call on the Zidane-Materazzi fiasco. 'cuz like...who is to blame? do you fault a man for head butting the shit out of a man who wouldnt stop talkin shit? or do you fault the man who kept provoking? or at the end of the day, do you fault the man who appears to have lacked the judgement & restraint great men often seem to possess in the face of garbage talking monkeys? Heck, do you just throw ur hands up and fault both? or better yet, do you not give a flying flip....because when it's all said and done...that was one damn good, "somebody puhhh-leazzzzzee play it back in slo' mo'" World Cup worthy headbutt?

Personally, I can't judge Zidane for reacting to what Materazzi muttered to him repeatedly on the field. Which according to varied world reports and several international lip readers went something like "mother...sister....terrorist....goat...whore.....dum dum.....yo daddy....chicken butt.....say my name bitch"....or something along those lines. Thing is....who knows? Well....Zidane knows. But he's not telling ....*shrug*...your guess is as good as mine. Materazzi knows too & while he admits to insulting Zidane, says "i would never say anything about anyone's mother 'cuz my mother died years ago and I still get emotional about it"...or something like that. Sounds to me like a lame attempt at gaining sympathy while footing a weak lie. In either case, I think in situations like this.....its hard to say what should have been done or not done. But truth is........well, look, i'm just gonna go ahead and pass some judgement on this:

Truth is......when one reaches a certain pinnacle in life....lets imagine it as a mountain top.....one must look down at all the lonely, miserable souls below whose air you're glad you no longer have to breathe...and realize, at the very same time, that the smallest slip.....slightest mis-step could send one plummeting to the bottom right back with those peasants or if lucky, just a few notches slightly below where one was originally placed...which would then techincally still be the top...but only kinda sorta...and not really. The world is just an unforgiving place. Human beings have short memories and often times, it's the oddly misplaced bad in the sea of good that stands out. Its just the way things are. Think...Clinton.
Like, to many Americans...Clinton belongs in the ranks of the greatest American Presidents. But then, even though we might remember him as being so great, we also will always remember him as the president who had an affair with a White House intern. A very cheap & pudgy looking one at that. We just will. Aint no getting around that. I bet if Clinton could call a "do-over", he would have passed on the offer staring at him from under his oval room desk. and i bet you it wasn't even that great...

So yea, even though Zidane is insisting that he doesnt regret headbutting Materazzi's pus filled chest, I have a feeling that if he could call a "do-over", he would just skip that part and maybe....a year later...heck, a few months even...travel to Italy, get into a pub brawl with Materazzi and whoop the straight monkey outta him with his Golden Ball. Like, "bitch!....whose momma now!!?!" But he didn't. Instead he chose to react right then and there....to end his awesome career on a slightly off-note....spending days apologizing to folks...especially the kids....& explaining himself to the French people. Unfortunately, all this comes too late because now when history is written and people remember, they'll never forget to add the taint somewhere in the story of Zidane....

I guess what I'm just sayin' is.....sometimes in life....Especially in instances when you realize that a wrong choice could tarnish your very character/legacy/or previous acts of good....you gotta ask yourself......"somewhere along the line, I'm i gonna wanna call a "do-over" for this?" If the answer is yes....you should take a split second to re-consider....realizing that a go at instant gratification could be a set up for life long regret. Personally, I think its the devil's greatest trick yet....

This Month's Obsessions:

Song of the Day: The Killers "Somebody Told Me"

5. Fresh baked croissants (does anything taste better at 8am every morning?)
4. Pink nail polish
3. Setting up my apt (im starting to suspect my life's callin has more to do with selecting color swatches & accents than doing anything truly meaningful...)
2. Footballer's Wives on BBC America (its like, Desperate Housewives...but on crack)
1. Spending quality time with good friends (I'm blessed!)

Top: Foluso & I before we plunged into the incredibly salty and choppy sea...lol

2nd from top: We only lasted 30 mins before we got seasick ....our punk asses

3rd from top: On my way up 100ft of temple ruins...

Bottom: View from the top

Stolen Moments...

So...the whole of today, i kept wondering what was up with the early morning Coldplay fix. I felt a bit melancholy...drifty i suppose. I figured it would be a random sort of day with some unexpected touches. Sure enough, before the end of day, I stumbled upon the expected in an unexpected sort of way.
Upon getting home & checking my mailbox, I noticed a note for a package to be picked up in the package room. The minute I saw the notice from UPS...I knew. As i lugged the box into the elevator and down the hallway...i knew. i wasn't sure i could handle it. but i'd known it was coming.
Minutes later, I was sorting through a box of some of Annette's old belongings. Baze told me a few conversations back that she wanted me to have some of her sister's things to keep close......or read...or just to have.... and I thought it was a brilliant idea. I guess i'd already found out sometime ago that I have a tailored mourning process...one which is completely engaging...confrontational....in which i break myself down and build myself completely back up....a real process. I knew that having a few of her things would help me push thru...at least towards acceptance. But as I looked down at the open box, I realized that I had done the complete opposite of what I was to have done. As i sat there, i knew that i had somehow abandoned my typical route and instead opted for the easy way out...pushing the memories away...into a dark corner where I wouldnt have to deal with or pick at them on a daily basis...like an unsightly scab.....as I usually do. .......Sitting on the floor and opening the big box full of her stuff only dug up all those backed up emotions. But i needed it....at least for now. As I sorted thru the box....each item brought back a memory of something...a party...a dinner...a random afternoon day. So I sat and cried. I cried for unfulfilled dreams, for life too short, for great memories, time well spent & stolen moments. As I laid each item out...I found that each smelled like her....well...except for the shoes...which smelled like shoes..and not old feet (cuz then i would have had to shake my head at her)..I found receipts from places she had been...flipped through books she had read....and then a few moments later, i packed everything back up....and put them away.
Moments like these are forever etched in my mind...and not to sound preachy, but these are the moments that allow me to remember...in a very acute way.... every day of every waking moment...that my mortality is real....that a good life is only that which positively impacts others...or at the very least...brings a smile to someone's face. And to remember that even in the face of the greatest loss...or disappointment...or tragedy...the trick is (and will always remain) to move on...& to live life like someone told you tomorrow would be your last...

I have no idea how this just turned into a self revealing, diary-like entry......but hey, sometimes we gotta give a 'lil more than usual...

Melancholy but Yellow...

Song(s) of the Day: ColdPlay "Clocks" & Ani DiFranco "Across the Universe"

I woke up this morning and listened to ColdPlay on repeat. Typically, I save Coldplay for cold & lonely nights....none of which describes this morning. I'm not quite sure what it all means....but I had a pretty good time feeling melancholy while taking forever to get dressed and leave the house for work....which resulted in me being late for an internal meeting (i blamed the public transit system...which is 99% at fault for being so slow....and jotted a note to ask the folks up top why they arent yet paying for garage parking so we can one day do away with the stupid metro). I have a feeling I have a random day ahead of me...or perhaps, a rather dry and uneventful day. Who knows? do you care? probably not. *sigh*.....
i do have on a pale yellow top today.....and everyone knows its almost impossible to remain melancholy while wearing yellow. thank goodness for yellow....

Say it ain't so...

Dear Brazil,

Next time...


Sincerely,


"am i the only one that's sad?"

This weekend: Bubu, Tos, Fuu, & Slimmie @ the bbq...