Thankful...

Song of the day: Kelis "bossy"

These past few days have been like a slow moving movie with subtitles in a language i don't understand.... its frustrating....really. watchin a slow movie and you still can't figure out what the hell is going on. ok...really....what is going on?!

Nettie's memorial was beautiful....it made me truly believe that I have to live my life in a way that not only brings light into other people's lives (otherwise why am i here?) but also savors every drop of it. It also allowed me to truly appreciate all of my great friends (i really love my friends) who reached out and who i knew were solid shoulders i could lean on. Fuu...who stayed with me for two nights and just let me melt into a snotty, bewildered, and highly volatile puddle. My linesisters....who BLEW up my phone cuz they were a lil more than worried...knowin how i "get".....my family who just sat on the phone and let me go on and on spewing the disjointed thoughts in my head.....and all my other friends who hovered in the distance....always there(joy....monica...kadi...keke...abi(even from stanky london ure super!)....D...doug...nick...nee nee) ...thanks

Bon Jovi's "living on a prayer" is my theme song of the moment...my finals can just kiss my black ass.

so yea, I'm out of New York....mentally now...physically in a few (i'll miss it..but i'll be back a weekend a month or more out of necessity so i don't even feel like i'm really leaving) . The experience has been one hell of a ride. I think i found all those random pent up tears from '82-'04. i also had some of the wildest and most memorable moments mucho gracias to: Nee nee (my guardian angel from the tre-fo'...), my fulltime boyfriends Doug & Nick(honestly, they were my babysitters out here)...the Wagner peeps (nay (my secret asian lova), rach(girl, finance was a B but look at us now!), scottie too hottie(asian lova #2), ver(i have a spot in cali...), steph(asian lova #3)...), Jay & Nettie (three sexxy ass black chicks on a mission to find where fun lives), my big Delta sisters (aubria...ngozi)...

I met people that showed me that humans can be so damned good & beautiful...and people that showed me that humans can be....well.... so damned wrong & ugly. I grew up a hell of a lot and wanted to crawl back into the womb no less than 56 times. however, i'm pleased to report that i also developed selective amnesia in order to deal with some of the not so appetizing memories. yay for selective amnesia...

like, for instance, right now...i'm not supposed to be blogging. I'm supposed to be doing something else. like maybe studying for my final. but i don't remember how to study. so i'm blogging. selective amnesia.

i know...brilliant.

A letter to my friend...

Song of the day: Esthero's "Amelia"

To my beautiful, beautiful friend annette, nettie, ada....
my closest girlfriend in this big lonely metropolis....
(March 23rd 1982-April 15th 2006)

I got a call at 4am this Saturday saying you were gone. I didn't get to say goodbye. so unexpected. unreal. am i dreaming? this nightmare. is this life? so so short? it was too soon. I can't cry enough...the tears keep coming...i'm driftin....lost and confused. You were just here...i have all these emails, texts....yellow daffodils you brought two weeks ago when i made us dinner and you brought the wine. where did u go?my fun buddy...fab girl....sexy in the '06 partner..."we have a stare-er" giggler...the "kiss"(u missed)...the boys (some crazy, some odd, all so random, good gossip)...the bartender(total stalkage)....good wine (i'm a bum)....chock full-o-style....life liver...never a regret....lifesaver...dependable....nappy headed....free spirit...fun, fun, fun.....we made the boys stare ....in the hot clubs ( we broke in front everytime)...."boys are so dumb"....always seeking (it was there all along).....always finding....Trina fan (*rollin my eyes*)....never conforming....an inspiration...."we're black and fab"....i'll always and forever miss you...& love you. My heart lies broken....i will pick it up because you would make me....you would say "lets go out! the weather's great!"....we thought I was the one leaving....saying goodbye.....u wanted me to stay....life is crazy like that. gone first....but ure still here.....ur spirit...ever flowing....kind hearted....ure so free now.....more free than this earth would have ever allowed you....you were too big for all of this anyway. thank you for coming into my life....for showing me that life is too short for anyone to tell you how to live it.....for fighting to get out of the box.....for loving me....for showing me that life can be absolutely shitty and absolutely beautiful all at the same time....for making new york an experience i will forever cherish.......for being you....we had a blast.........i love, love, love you....

party on,

~Tosin

{fly like amelia...burn a hole right through the sky....be a meteor...live upon a cloud...angels sing your name....when no one's around scream all night and dance around the flame....be free to let the girly freak out....never hold a girl down to the ground............never say goodbye....} ~Esthero

super, very important question of the day

Where is sisqo?

Cost of Living Outstrips Benefits

Song of the day: Dave Matthew's "satellite"

Cost of Living Outstrips Benefits

Washington, DC- A report released Monday by the Federal Consumer Quality-Of-Life Control Board indicated that the cost of living now outstrips life's benefits for many Americans.

"This is sobering news," said study director Jack Farness. "For the first time, we have statistical evidence of what we've suspected for the past 40 years: Life really isn't worth living."

~The Onion

hahahahhhahahaha

............



wait....



it is funni right?....

.....



right?

Punked

Song of the day: Paul Wall's "they don't know"

Do you wanna know what's funni?

FUNNY is when a former dictator (lets say,Charles Taylor) is pliz-ayeed in the international arena.....made to look a complete and utter fool for being released to go free and then getting caught again like a wild animal in the bush....in an all white safari get-up...with wife and child and bags and bags of money in tow.....by the same people (lets say, the Nigerian govt) who let him go in the first place

HILARIOUS is when he tries to tell the world that the nigeria govt told him to "run" then seemingly changed its mind....

PRICELESS is when nigeria says...lol.....they have noooo idea what in the hell this crazy man is talking about....and say his OBVIOUSLY made up story is a "far-fetched figment of his jaundiced imagination."

That, my friends, is the purest form of comedy. It's also called getting PUNKED like a little girl in front of the whole, entire, world. literally.

Moral of the story: A Nigerian will consistently and without fail play you and your whole-entire family in front of the whole-entire world.

Random Thoughts...(am I well?)

Song of the day: Lil Wayne's "tha carter II" album

like, am i the only one totally unsurprised by Kimora and Russell's split? I mean, was I the only one who saw that one coming? the only one who took pity on that buddha worshipping zen promoting man when I saw him with the self proclaimed amazonian queen of shallow? While i'm all for the tall woman-short man pairing....something about their union seemed more "off" perhaps even "tragic"...than a mere short-tall uneveness. I mean...she writes a book called "fabulosity" and Russell turns up looking like a little big kid--every.time. i. see. him. with a *horrid* lisp to tote. Like, i believe in the whole opposites attract thing....but i mean, doesnt that just apply to people from the same planet? I must say tho, Kimmy really took it there when she had that Baby Phat ad with all those mexican maids lined up for miles...said money (lots of it) is in fact, the paved road to eternal happiness...who then got busted with all that weed in her car. triflin'. just go away kimora. far away. back to jupiter.

Anyhoo, on to more important...world changing news: I'm putting money on Janet and Dupri's ..what is it? whatever...anyway, i'm betting he'll leave her soon cuz he's tired of lying to the press sayin she added two small children and an infant to her weight cuz "she was preparing for a movie role". i mean, JJ might have been every man's teenage wet dream...but...she's fast becoming their grown up nitemare...that is, waking up and your true love has been kidnapped and replaced by Fat Albert. How about brittany and K.Fed? right. moving on. Demi & Ashton? Any takers? Reese & Ryan? U know what.....i dont really care about all these people...except for Jada & Will. Lemme tell u what.... the day Will and Jada call it quits......i'll...i'll just like, cry.

However, all of this aside (cuz none of it matters one bit and i have no idea why you're still reading).......allllll of this aside...a very important question: who else gapes in disbelief week after week as wild eyed Furonda stays in the running for America's Next Top Model??? how? what?whyyyyy? Jerri and I agreed that she definitely makes the "i look like i just got off the playground/i'm lost & looking for my mother" list. not to talk less of the "whodunnit and why?" list.

in summation: I think marriage is cute and can be rewarding when love/devotion/rainbows/sunshine/foreva/eva is thrown in the pot. Marriage is also a practical idea- especially when you look at it as a business deal- a M&A (merger & acquisition) so to speak- on the other hand, dear God....who are these beings roaming the earth anyway? you find one, marry and have kids with it and wake up to find you mistakenly discovered satan's right hand man/woman---all i'm sayin is taking time to figure out how much you can truly take from another living, breathing, constantly around you and in your space, doesn't put the toilet seat down-snoring-dirty drawes behind-eating all the damn food-can't understand simple instructions-demanding your time/energy when you really just want to be in an empty room all by yourself- is a good idea.
and not to sound gay or anything...but this same being could ultimately lead to many fulfilling years filled with laughter, priceless memories, exciting stories, joyous moments, pictures/slideshows....who'll see you in your busted-ness unfabulous stanky moments and still think u're the best thing ever to grace God's green earth.

......

ok, that was gay.

whatever...