This month's obsessions:

5. $7.50 sushi and salmon lunch tray @ katana's on W.4
4.www.weather.com
3.walking slow
2.sleeping (but not really getting any)
1.Napoleon Dynamite ('cuz "girls like guys who have skills")

...i remember @ 8am thinkin "why am i so far from a place called 'sober'?"(l to r: keke,me,les,wale)

erm...hair or pillow?...

Jellyfish may have been harmed in the making of this product

i saw a girl with fingerwaves and scrunchies in her hair today.
i didn't even know people still possessed the skills to create such an archaic hairstyle.
whooooo does that?
it should be a crime to have to use so much gel to maintain one strand of hair.
surely, some animal is in danger here. being driven to extinction by gel seeking humans....
perhaps, the jellyfish?

if i were a hairdresser with any decent amount of self dignity...with a sliver of reputation to uphold....i would have said to this woman : "fingerwaves? scrunchies? it will cost...---(here, i would pause and write something down on a piece of paper and bring it up to my face)--- $1,000,000 to re-visit 1995 like that. is that ok?"
that's just what i would do.

anyway, right after taking in this hairstyle atrocity...i wondered where Total was.
remember Total?
they always had cool hair.
boy. it never hit me how sexually ambiguous Pam was.
all of them for that matter....that is Keisha and Kima...
i do remember wishing i could get little paw tattoos up my thigh like Kima's.
i imagined i would run out as soon as i turned 18 and paw my thighs all up.

that is-

until i saw the pterodactyl claws on Eve's saggy ta-ta-s.

that's when i decided i just needed to, like, slow down and not make any rash...body mutilating...sexual turn off....mistakes...such as her's.

boy. thank you e-v-e.

but i wonder....
would anyone listen to a rap album by Eve, like, ever again?

i guess it might be possible for her to spin some tyte lyrics about her sub-par show on the greatest network known to man- UPN. or maybe about her Fetish clothing line. u know....the one u saw for discounted prices at the local thrift store.
it seems to me like she's eternally destined to only guest rap-sing or whatever you call it on gwen stefani tracks....
then again, i guess anyone can be street credible on an album titled 'love. angel. music. baby'

right.

what's a friday without some hottt stats?

today was a very long day.
hell...this week was a very long week.
Generally speaking, I feel as though I just birthed a 12 pound baby with a very large head.
I'm sore all over and i just want to sleeeep.
sleep my life a-way.

i spent 3 hours at the Apple store today.
somewhere along the line, I became very confused and couldn't decide if i was there to get my hair done or get an ipod.

the longer i sat, the more trouble i got in.
it mostly had to do with a very fashionable african man. a buyer for saks and an offer to be whisked away to bask in sunny miami: "we can be wild...just wild" oh. and an offer to be fit into "designer jeans that would mold...sevens, mankinds, or peppers?' all seemed pretty standard for new york...that is...until he took off his very large, very spiffy gucci sunglasses. u know...the one he'd worn for the 2 hours he had been talkin to me in the very non-sunny apple store...

right-o.
............................


somewhere along the line, i decided my friday was a bust.
once again i attempted to crack the riddle of the century:'where has new york hidden all the stable, non-undercover horsey/cow fetish, normal, respectful, just wanna get to know u, be a friend, make you laugh, come clean, feel good, no shit, literate, good conversation, please let me adore you, be a gentleman, not self centered,non-atheist, buy you flowers, make you dinner, smell your neck just 'cuz...u know...*shrug*...it smells good?...kinda guys'?

register another failed attempt.

well.
maybe not quite.
it occured to me...in a zen like kinda way...
that perhaps, new york city is just like college.
its clear to me that everyone seems to relish the sort of life that celebrates a certain carefree approach to, u know...everything. men and women alike seem to treasure a serendipitous quality to life...cuz, hey...'there's always another opportunity just around the corner...why stop here?' the city is like one big ole giant summer camp...a year round playground. hmmmmm.....just like college!
this sudden epiphany didn't exactly feel like a nice,warm, goose down blanket....but at least i figured....i'm in college college....or college II...and so! let the good times roll!

but not with the silly man from the apple store-

as i dragged myself uptown....i found a glimmer of hope in Billie's "Fishnets and Fondue" party that would start in the next hour.
and then i opened the door and remembered i already had a party to go to! ..................................
..........................................................................................
........................................................................................
..............................the "tosin and stats" party!!!!

i mean,

what's a friday without some hotttt stats???


but first, i have to arrange my shoes.
and um...clear out my cellphone numbers.
it just makes no sense how jumbled they are.
some names in all caps...some not.
that's madness!
oh. and i might as well re-arrange my closet.
u know...
those colors are like..everywhereee.
skirts where jeans are supposed to be.
socks with underwear...thongs with briefs...briefs with boycuts.... and yellow with reds.
and my fake eyelash with my water bra??

this obviously makes no sense.

i guess i should also paint my toes while i'm at it.
oooorrrrrr just re-paint the whole apartment

OR pray for a super hella-smart twin that will sit in for my stats exam!!!!

and that i shall.....

*sigh*

i shoulda said yes to miami....

...cuuuuteee

i'm sick. this i know.

Disclaimer: I did not think this up on my own careless whim. this is something lame that naomi started. and now that i think about it.....the fact that her name has been featured in my blog more times than anyone else is slightly disturbing. the fact that every 'list email' is also sent by her is also very disturbing. more disturbing than this, however, is that i still speak to the girl.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sent: Tuesday, November 2, 2004 3:21 am

I never reply to these dumb things 'cuz i'm too good for it. and i'm afraid to send it to my other friends 'cuz they would laugh at me and call me bad names...and judge me...but i figured i should send it to my new grad school friends since they're kinder and nicer than my previous life and previous friends..i could also lie and say..."I did it 'cuz they have no idea who I am...and I wanted to help"...either way.....naomi started it...

Copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste it into a new email.Change all of the answers so that they apply to you. Then, send this to a whole bunch of people you know *INCLUDING* the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little known facts about your friends. It is fun and easy.

1. First Name: Oluwatomisin (interesting already eh?)
2. Were you named after anyone? no. my name is just some common ass name in nigeria... like the kind you would find on a key chain at a gas station...its also unisex
3. Do you wish on stars? not anymore since New York killed them all with smog.
4. When did you last cry? i don't cry. i have pms.
5. Do you like your handwriting? yeah.
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? oven roasted honey turkey or somethin like that. whatever.
7. What is your birth date? Nov. 15
8. What is your most embarrassing CD? something j-lo made up and called music
9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? ok. like, i'm the coolest human i know. of course i'd be friends with me. what sort of questions are these???
10. Are you a daredevil? if *thinking* about using the service entrance on W4 without swiping my card is dare devilish. then yes. yes i am.
11. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? secrets? what are those?
12. Do looks matter? if my heart beating in my chest matters....
no. i lie. I'm a total "personality girl"...u'll soon see i'm sure. don't be scared though. its just like that with me...
13. How do you release anger? i scratch the bitch's eyes out and then beat my man's ass and tell him that's what he gets for cheatin on me with some trailer trash ho with fake titties
14. Where is your second home? winston-salem, NC. *get hype*
15. Do you trust others easily? i don't even trust me.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? my mind. nasty lil thing...
17. What class in high school do you think was totally useless? nay is right. college takes the cake....
18. Do you have a journal? no.
19. Do you use sarcasm a lot? yes. but only to entertain me. i just think i'm funni to myself
20. What are your nicknames? lets see...'tos' 'tostada' 'tostitos'. people are ignorant i think...
21. Would you bungee jump? oh dude. yes.
22. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? at one time i didn't even know what 'laces' where. that was before new york broke me down and made me stack all my stilettos in the dark part of my closet then chucked a couple of converses in my face.
23. Do you think that you are strong? when does this questionnaire plan on ending?
24. Favorite Ice cream flavor? i don't really like cold things in mouth. yes. but if i must...basic vanilla will do....
25. Shoe Size? 9-10 dependin on make. this ho's got boats!
26. Red/Pink? red!
27. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? ???----there is no such thing-----
28. Who do you miss most? tickles. my imaginary friend. i got too crazy for him....he aint coming back yall...
29. Do you want everyone you send this to send it back? if i went thru the pain. show u care. do the same. plus..WHO are you people anyway?
30. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? old pajama pants...three socks on each foot(ive got thin blood cuz i'm skinny and bad circulation cuz i'm old)
31. What are you listening to right now? some voices in my head...
32. Last thing you ate? some thai left overs...spaghetti and fried plantains...some chips..all at the same time...i think i'm pregnant again...
33. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? white. so people would leave me the hell alone 'cuz i aint good for nothin'
34. What is the weather like right now? 49 degrees out. -30 in my studio. my landlords will fry in Hades
35. Last person you talked to on the phone? mom. she calls 6 X's a day 'cuz i'm her reason for living. i'm hott like that...
36. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? ears. i know. i'm not well at all...oh. and shoes. shoes tell alot about a man.
37. Do you like the person who sent this to you? naomi? um..not right now. cuz i'm sittin here doin this shit...with frozen feet. other times. yes...she's so frikkin hot...
38. Favorite Drink? toss up bewteen water and orange *pop*(but soda's bad for you)
39. Favorite Sport? gettin up in the morning. that is some demanding shit...
40. Hair Color? black
41. Eye Color? brown
42. Do you wear contacts? no
43. Favorite Food? rice rice rice! and fried plantains....
44. Last Movie You Watched? Stand By Me. one of my faves!.....
Gordie : Shut up!
Vern , Chris , Teddy (in unison) : I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.
Gordie : And then your mother goes around the corner and she licks it up!
45. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? neither. totally pointless movies? yes.
46. Summer or Winter? summer summer summer time....
47. Hugs or Kisses? long passionate heavy breathing type kisses. not some lame shit...
48. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? brownies. no nuts.
49. Who Is Most Likely To Respond? um. prolly no one. cuz they know this is dumb.
50. Who Is Least Likely To Respond? no idea. for real though...live on the edge. you know u wannnaaaa...everyone's doing ittttt
51. Living Arrangements? me, myself and I.
52. What Books Are You Reading? invisible man by ralph ellison.
53. What's On Your Mouse Pad? don't have one...
54. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? um. one of the 15 channels ive got. does this really matter???
55. Favorite Smells? i like body cream(grapeseed) and i like to smell my daddy and mommy. i like the smell of brick...clean babies....and newly washed sheets. a man's scent is priceless...
56. Rolling Stones or Beatles? beatles baaaaby!
57. Do you believe in Evolution or Creation? creation. but don't ask me why right now.
58. What's the furthest you've been from home? beijing, china
59. Any Tattoos? ...............no.

...because people say jacked up things to you on IM....

BoBo TiTi: i can't even picture you serious with a guy
BoBo TiTi: and it seems like you should be gay

dear mom and pops, today in school I learned that...

Synopsis: following their evening urban economics class, three students from a school of public service casually discuss key societal ills...pondering the methods in which positive change 'for the sake of the children' might be set in motion.

naomi: i should, like, take a poll just to see the different drugs that people are into now...u know.....just cuz....
scott: yea..totally
tosin: yea...i guess...
naomi: yea...like is it heroine...
scott: crack...?
tosin: or like coke....or somethin?
scott/naomi (in unison): ok. eeeeeeveryone uses coke.
tosin: they do?really?.......oh wow. no idea...
scott: yea...why is that anyway? why coke again?
naomi: i dunno....its like...u know...the '80s are making a comeback....?...we're back in the 80s!!
tosin: yea...but....i mean, didn't we learn anything from the 80s..?!?!? i mean..think about it...where are all those cokeheads now?
naomi: ceo's...?
scott: running fortune 500 companies....?
naomi: living in pent houses...?
scott: personal jets....?
naomi:they own whole entire islands....?
scott: that they name after themselves...?


----------------------silence-------------------------



scott: strutting lions across their coffee tables while they snort more coke....?

fashion week afterparty...we had funnsssss

monica...darius..and moi...(@ the time i silently hoped to off them for makin me go touring. but i guess...the time was right....*kisses*buds!)